urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul dance party drunk. dance party drunk. 2008-08-14T00:13:44Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:57903 2008-08-14T00:13:44Z 2008-08-14T00:13:44Z hey everybody! I'm back on the map! I now have a computer after over a year and a half with little to no access so here i am!<br /><br />just in case you were wondering what's new in my life... i'm getting married!<br /><br />besides that, my life consists mainly of being devistatingly homesick, super pumped about being awesome, the occasional sewing of vintage inspired dresses, eating a lot of refried bean dip, rocking out so hard, being too nice/too mean to strangers, over indulging in fun poisons, playing tramp and john with the old man (old man boyfriend not old man dad) and sleeping. <br />xox<br />tarabelle urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:57601 2007-12-22T18:10:34Z 2007-12-22T18:10:34Z hey kate an kensey, <br />you shouldn't have left without saying goodbye!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:57494 2006-12-24T03:32:03Z 2006-12-24T03:32:03Z it's ben almost a year but i'm back, baby. for six days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:57321 2006-12-06T21:12:15Z 2006-12-06T21:12:15Z ASS AND TITTY FUCK.<br /><br />exhale. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:57036 2006-12-01T22:19:11Z 2006-12-01T22:19:11Z you know you're life is the shits when it's moving day and your new place is too small for too much and it's cold and hailing with ice oated everything and you're sitting in your old kitchen thinking about every other worry you have drinking your ex-roomate lovey kitten's gin straight from the bottle (sorry sarah) and seriously considering a) puking, b) crawling int a dark hole and sleping for a long, long time, or c) continuing life in this sorry dirt poor dead tired existence until something out of your control makes it stop- temporarily or for good. <br /><br />but then, i love the world. and when blake peeks in at me and gives me that smile with his shining eyes, it makes my fucking day and takes all that shit away!<br /><br />and i've been here almost a year now and i'm still making t on my own. sort of.<br /><br />pee ess, i'll be back in the valley from the vingt-trois a le vingt-neuf. call me, or email or something, i guess. love love. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:56747 2006-10-30T20:04:15Z 2006-10-30T20:04:15Z i once met a man with a fiddle, <br />while i was taking a piddle,<br />we were both in the can, <br />along with peter pan, <br />and i ended up in the middle.<br /><br />there once was a hobbit named marcus, <br />who had quite a large carcus, <br />it fell down a hole, <br />where it met a mole,<br />and continued it's life in the darkness. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:56515 2006-10-25T21:59:13Z 2006-10-25T21:59:13Z so, uhhh. how does one go about finding an apartment? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:56208 2006-07-12T02:39:52Z 2006-07-12T02:39:52Z last night, i was totally the shitty partner that i've never wanted to have. and sometimes you gotta be vulnerable, and sometimes you gotta be honest and sometimes you get through. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:56008 2006-03-19T04:30:01Z 2006-03-19T04:30:01Z oh, and also, he can be SUCH an egomaniac. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:55543 2006-03-05T22:36:41Z 2006-03-05T22:36:41Z i'm so happy that it's circled back to sadness. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:55282 2006-02-17T15:08:47Z 2006-02-17T15:08:47Z my life is excellent. and i'm in loooove. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:55002 2006-01-08T19:37:17Z 2006-01-08T19:37:17Z sarah k makes me amazingly happy. we had a "double date" last night and, well... i'm still completely confused. regardless. i am very happy here. there are bazillions of people who i live AND our potluck was a hit. also i might have a job waiting for me.<br /><br />i feel like such a girl for wanting to be in love again. i like to be the one in control. i like to be held by strong arms. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:54533 2005-12-28T08:13:22Z 2005-12-28T08:13:22Z i want i want i want<br />my my my<br />me me me <br />now now now!<br />-cpt. james hook.<br /><br />or something<br /><br />kelly and simone 21 are hot. hot for fucking teahcer birthday blonde brunnette ciggarette love. please excuse all typo's. <br /><br />also, rockabilly boys are death. so is packing and work and leaving and maybe listening to the weakerthans would make me feel better HA!<br /><br /><br /><br />in better news, potluck in the diege on the sixth of january. be ther or i'll beat you up. yes, i know that violence isn't the answer, but god, please come. you know why? because i'll be in MONTREAL!<br /><br />lovers, i love thee... thou? i miss sarah k. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:54349 2005-12-23T12:58:34Z 2005-12-23T12:58:34Z of all the degrading things a woman could be called, i think that a "prime piece of tang" definately cuts the fucking cake.<br /><br />god, eww. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:54102 2005-12-21T05:44:23Z 2005-12-21T05:44:23Z i think i'm getting cold feet. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:53543 2005-12-19T06:43:27Z 2005-12-19T06:43:27Z ohhh dear.<br /><br />the days are passing by quite quickly now that all my courses are over. i'm scared about airports and bags and zippers and buttons and things being packed up and things being torn apart and things coming undone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:53440 2005-12-15T22:57:32Z 2005-12-15T22:57:32Z as, as well as simone, am procrastinating. but these readings are so hard to get through!<br />i'm basically screwed, is the point. <br /><br />also, i'm starting to panic because fifteen days. like, dude.<br /><br />also, what's the deal with still being so in love with a funny boy who has been far away for four months. what a wacko match. i'm ridiculous.<br /><br />also, glyn i miss you, and i hope that you'll come visit me one day, because i have a feeling you won't and we'll be done for.<br /><br />happy birthday dave "jerkface" helmer., i hope she swallows.<br /><br />man, what a fucking megabitch. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:52996 2005-12-15T01:27:09Z 2005-12-15T01:27:09Z dave, if you read this, i am sooo mad at you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:52824 2005-12-14T07:58:14Z 2005-12-17T08:27:32Z cocorosie 1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? i left a two and a half year relationship and moved away from home, to a place that i had never been.<br /><br />2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think that i exactly had made new years resolutions. my priority in life was surviving the next six months, which i obviously did.<br /><br />3. Did anyone close to you give birth? my aunt had a baby girl this past year.<br /><br />4. Did anyone close to you die? only my own miserable heart.<br /><br />5. What countries did you visit? quebec is still part of canada, so none, i suppose.<br /><br />6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? a job in montreal, and therefore, the ability to stay.<br /><br />7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? saying goodbye to my family and then dave, dancing on a bar top, climbing up mount royal naked, many evenings drinking on the front porch of 128, but most importantly the day before i left montreal, being terrified of loving people and losing them. not being able to look at sarah during amazing dinner. packing boxes and havingthe most incredible nervous breakdown meanwhile feeling like i was losing my soul. blake singing "lonely as me" and me really actually mostly dying inside. sarah singing "person, person." so much love and pain, incredible.<br /><br />8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? i made new friends in a strange city, woah.<br /><br />9. What was your biggest failure? quite possibly my inability to be mentally stable, ever. and losing faith in life sucked pretty bad, too.<br /><br />10. Did you suffer illness or injury? getting my wisdom tooth out was a pain in the ass. i was also pretty stinkin' depressed for awhile. but that's pretty okay now.<br /><br />11. What was the best thing you bought? my vibrator. these jeans. an amzing pink bra that i got today. i like pretty things.<br /><br />12. Whose behavior merited celebration? not mine.<br /><br />13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? my own selfish misery.<br /><br />14. Where did most of your money go? food, rent, beer, poutine, air and bus fare. <br /><br />15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? excellent sex, falling in love with a rockabilly boy, being drunk all the time, falling i love with sarah k., the fact that drama will never depart my life, seeing dave and jesse and simone again. telling my mother i'm going back and not letting her argue. <br /><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2005? ha. probably just what i needed, by the cars for montreal part I. the cockroaches. the frug, by rilo kiley even though it doens't pertain to me, really, (but i cannot do the smurf), patsy cline, because that is the story of my life. saro jane, sweet blue eyed darlin', gotta travel on, i guess things happen that way, blue moon of kentucky, honkey tonk angels. that;s a good start. oh, and OF COURSE, left and leaving by the weakerthans.<br /><br />17. Compared to this time last year, are you:<br />i. happier or sadder? happier. i was concerned for friends and relationships more so last year. i suppose i've gotten more selfish. <br />ii. thinner or fatter? i got fatter and then thinner again. i think i must be about the same size, now. <br />iii. richer or poorer? poorer. i blew 5 grand in montreal. what a dink! <br /><br />18. What do you wish you'd done more of? maybe readings for MCS 110. maybe more laughing and less crying over changes. probabaly spent more tie with dave and the kids i hung out with before i left comox the first time. all those important ones i seem to have distanced myself from. maybe more sex over the past three or so months, but i imagine the waiting will pay off in good time. perhaps before the year is through!<br /><br />19. What do you wish you'd done less of? oh, crying. feeling sorry for myself. comparisons. procrastinating. self torture. being an emo silly girl who concerns herself with boys all too much. <br /><br />20. How will you be spending Christmas? with my mommy and daddy and precious brother. before running away. <br /><br />21. At any point in this past year did you do something that you consider to be completely out of your usual character? i grew up a little bit, maybe. i don't really think my character is defined enough to say.<br /><br />22. Did you fall in love in 2005? yes, oh goodness me. <br /><br />23. How many one-night stands? one, it was my first and i was proud! graham barged into my room the next morning to borrow my flashlight and made the most hilarious, ridiculously embarassing faces at me. oh, the days at 128! <br /><br />24. What was your favorite TV program? CSI, i guess.<br /><br />25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? some dislike has, unfortunately, turned to hate. no biggie though.<br /><br />26. What was the best book you read? i really liked "lolita," which i successfully stole from daniel, and "the favourite game," 'the sun also rises"... there are more but i... am tired of thinking.<br /><br />27. What was your greatest musical discovery? bluegrass, old time country, that tiny bit of rockabilly that i actually listen to. <br /><br />28. What did you want and get? i wanted to go back to montreal. i am going back to montreal. how fucking scary is that? also, i wanted him to wait and it seems as though he has. <br /><br />29. What did you want and not get? Good Grades, i agree with laura here. and i didn't get patience. time and distance didn't disappear, exactly, just passed.<br /><br />30. What was your favorite film of this year? pfft, no idea. walk the line, i guess. reminds me of blake. silly girl, i am. <br /><br />31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 19 and tried to call blake all day while doing jello shooters and smoking a lot and then had a lovely dinner with sheena before continuing in getting completely blasted. didn't get laid.<br /><br />32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? i could say "being able to stay in montreal" but i actually think that would be something of a lie. i'm one of those ones that seems to think that things like this happen for some sort of reason. <br /><br />33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? my fashion concept fell apart, basically. my priorities were jarred somewhat, this year. <br /><br />34. What kept you sane? ha. i'm not anywhere close to being sane. good friends always help, though.<br /><br />35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? i'm basically in love with maggie gyllenhaal, but i've lost touch with her.<br /><br />36. What political issue stirred you the most? i like to stick up for queers.<br /><br />37. Who did you miss? highschool, simone, and then dave and jesse and the kids in comox, and then blake and sarah and the kids in montreal and the kids in comox that had left while i was gone and 128. and everybody, ever. <br /><br />38. Who was the best new person you met? sarah k., elizabeth, blake, and so many awesome characters in montreal. goddamn, i was a luck son of a gun to meet so many cool people.<br /><br />39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: i'm a grown-up, now. sort of. sometimes rules get broken, sometimes you just gotta lay down the law and ake a few chances and oh god.<br /><br />40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: <br /><br />"At my door the leaves are falling <br />A cold wild wind has come<br />Sweethearts walk by together<br />And I still miss someone<br /><br />I go out on a party<br />And look for a little fun<br />But I find a darkened corner<br />because I still miss someone<br /><br />Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes<br />I see them every where<br />I miss those arms that held me<br />When all the love was there<br /><br />I wonder if she's sorry<br />For leavin' what we'd begun<br />There's someone for me somewhere<br />And I still miss someone" <br />and/or <br />"And I love this place; the enormous sky, and the faces, hands that I'm haunted by, so why can't I forgive these buildings, these frameworks labeled "Home"?" <br />or something regarding sex urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:51426 2005-11-29T07:25:45Z 2005-12-09T23:36:28Z snow falls in november-julie doiron it's all lindsay's fault that every time i drink i want mc donalds fries. that would have never, ever happened in the past.<br /><br />i'm fucking horny as hell and oh god, in comox, it NEVER snows in november and i think i could cry for everyhting and everybody.<br />oh god.<br />don't even.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />there is always something to miss, isn't there?<br />there is always something extraordinary. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:50718 2005-11-26T05:13:32Z 2005-12-09T23:36:50Z i know that everybody who is on my friends list IS actually my friend and there for (hopefully) finds me somewhat charming and attractive, but i have recently come into contact with something which may influence you to question the validity of that assumption.<p><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c3/tarabelle_k/ugliestpictureever.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><p><br /><br />please, feel free to laugh urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:50620 2005-11-24T08:23:42Z 2005-11-24T08:23:42Z omg.<br /><br />i just got home from "walk the line" and it was the greatest thing ever and it makes me happy and miss montreal and barfly and the wheel and my boy who sang me love songs. oh dear, oh dear.<br /><br />sweet dreams tonight, tara. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:50384 2005-11-23T07:21:23Z 2005-11-23T07:21:23Z way to make yourself cry, tara. yeah, i know, thanks for the support.<br /><br />i het how i always fall in love with my best friends. or more so i have a really intensely difficult time differentiating friendship love from love love. and i don't make that easier by making out with all of my friends, all the time.<br /><br />goddamnit. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:50094 2005-11-22T22:06:51Z 2005-11-22T22:06:51Z dude.<br /><br />blake totally found a new girlfriend. and by that, i mean i'm lying.<br />okay. anyways.<br /><br />i keep thinking about how exciting it is that there are only 8 days left until december but then i keep geting mad because the thoughts of december are tainted with the nagging of those two essays that i have yet to start writing.<br /><br />i also keep thinking about living with sarah and how hopefully it will equate to us being happy and in love for the rest of eternity.<br /><br />i also keep thinking about sex and how great its going to be when it re-enters my life and how hopefully it will be enjoyable and hopefully i'll be able to find the vixen that's hidden somewhere inside of me.<br /><br />i also think about sophie and how heartbreaking it is that i haven't seen her for seven months and who knows if she would really understand.<br />she once told me that talking to me is like climbing trees in summer. that was in a letter, actually, and if everybody thought about me the way she did right then, well, it would be great.<br /><br />i think about how being in love over telephone lines is a whole lot different than being in love face to face with skin and looking into your eyes. <br />that scares me, a little and i'll have to learn those tricks all over again.<br /><br />i can't wait to watch movies and snuggle.<br /><br />hey, anybody interested in watching movies and snuggling?<br /><br />i think about how it seems like my butt has gotten a little smaller lately. <br />i think about spring and how excited i'll be to wear my dolly dress to barfly.<br />i think about cigarettes and how i had one today, but before that it was six days.<br />i think about how i should never write a story because it would be about me an dthat would be vain.<br />i think about passing through the praries on a greyhound and the weakerthans and missing people on both sides because i was alone in the middle.<br />i think about all those people i could realistically never see again and how that's something that is scary and that is smething that pounds achingly along the inside of my ribcage. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:absinthesoul:49875 2005-11-21T05:28:28Z 2005-11-21T05:28:28Z the taste of love is sweet he asked me how many times i go on my space. i said every day, which isn't a lie, really. but i don't think that he knew that by "every day" i really meant about a dozen times a day. he also might not know that i look at the cockroaches prfile pretty much every time. embarassing, i know, but whatever gets you through the day.<br /><br />also, i'm leaving in like forty days. intense, no?<br /><br />there were a few other antecdotes. oh yeah, one of them being that he got an 85$ ticket for urinating in public after he spent the night passed out on the stairs of 1221. he said when he woke up at nine dale was still drinking upstairs with the bartender.